Archive for the ‘Death’ Category

My Guardian

I’m home from work it’s six a.m.
To sleep a while then up again.
I laid the babe up in his crib
His eighteen months have been a gift.
The nap he takes is all I get
Some days four hours, but others less.
I dream of fields of flowers bloomed,
But soon I’m here, back in my room.
My grandma’s here; she calls my name
I scream out “What?” Am I insane?
There’s no one there, no noise I hear
So back to sleep no need to fear.
I hear again this, “Pamela K!
Get up right now! You musn’t wait!”
I look around, there’s no one there,
But smoke it pours from yonder there.
I quickly run to my kitchen door
And there my babe sits on the floor.
A poisoned bottle in his hand
To take a drink had been his plan.
He climbed down from his place of rest
My child locks had failed the test.
I swoop him up into my arms
My precious gift is safe from harm.
Now wait a sec, where is the smoke?
And Grandma she passed years ago!
A tingle runs right down my spine
My son, he smiles at the light.
“Thank you, Grandma for saving him!
For being our own guardian!”
Her angel kiss was in my tear
As it crossed my lips I felt her here.
Then just as quick, she’s gone again
Though she’s not far, my guardian!

~ Pamela K. Pfertsh
Granddaughter to Hazel Hanna-McFadden
(my guardian…)
© 06/12/2015

Read Full Post »

Our Sunshine

My mother-in-law, Esther E. Pfertsh, passed away the day before Thanksgiving, 2013. She was an amazing woman and someone who will be dearly missed by all. Below is her story and the reason so many will mourn her passing. One of her favorite songs that was sung as a prayer at every meal was The Lord is Good to Me. We will always sing that song at our meals in remembrance of her.

Esther was born in St. Edward

A town on Nebraska’s east side

To her parents Arthur and Anna

On April seventh, nineteen thirty-five.


She was but a toddler a runnin’

When the family decided to move

To a fox farm in Longmont, Colorado

Soon becoming their cow milker too.


She was always her daddy’s right hand girl

A sister to Helen, Arnold and June

But she always claimed that their mother

Loved her most, from here to the moon!


Her smile brought a nickname of Sunshine

As many relished in her glow from inside

She even thought she was a hummingbird

Always humming her hellos and good-byes.


Then one night she was cruising on Main Street

Catching the eye of a wonderful boy

Who then followed her down to the drive-in

At the A&W that they all enjoyed.


Elmer found out that Esther liked skating

Planning his hunt to catch up with her there

For we all know that he caught the best one

Who was forever his perfect pair.


They soon went on to get married

On July second, nineteen fifty-four

Having a reception down at the Grange Hall

Where their gifts were piled galore.


With the sixties came their three children

Blessed with a daughter then two handsome boys

She loved each one of her babies

Her Trina, her Todd and her Troy.


With Trina, she led the 4H club

Teaching each of them to cook and to knit

And shared with them knowledge of fishing

From the water all the way to the dish.


With her Todd she would often go swimming

Though that was not her expertise

When she’d plunge right down in the water

Her bottom would somehow form a peak.


Troy always remembered them Jeeping

With kids clinging on here and on there

Or driving them each to sports practice

Somehow, she got them everywhere.


They all laughed at her “mix and jiggle”

When at the counter she was

Mixing up cookies or pastries

Away flew her arm and her butt!


Those children, they blessed her with grandkids

Even step and great grandchildren too

And all of those that she adopted

From the neighbors or down at the schools.


For years she worked at District 50

A school secretary and so very much more

Known for always cheering up grumpies

And playing pranks on co-workers and more


She was such a great people person

Who loved to quilt and to knit and to sew

She was always part of some great group

For she loved them and helped them to grow.


Her family always came first though

And her church it was not far behind

Cleaning and doing their bookwork

Was just part of her daily grind.


Putting on plays and shows about talent

Her humor rivaling Carol Burnett

She even danced with a mannequin

And her Curly enjoyed that a bit.


Her talent was playing the washboard

Slider whistle, the symbols and horn

While Curly twanged on the hand saw

And for Sue the gutbucket was borne.


Songs were always being made up

As she had one for every occasion

Like while camping with family in Red Feather

Or to cheer up a precarious situation.


A resilient outdoors type person

“For I am a farm girl,” she claimed

As strong as an ox, she was leaned on

Near sainthood those close had proclaimed.


Then Alzheimer’s came and took over

Her mind and our lives had been robbed

It took away much of those memories

As we all stuck together and sobbed.


But her faith, it never did falter

As she walked and talked with her Lord

Praying that He take her peaceful

By her choice and of her full accord.


So we offer our thanks up to Thee, Lord

For taking her peacefully to Thee

And for providing the rain and the Sunshine

With which to grow all of those apple seeds.



~ Pamela K. Pfertsh

 © December 6, 2013

Read Full Post »

Whispers of Wisdom

We want to tell you we love you

Though we know we must say goodbye

And that we will all miss you dearly

Each trying our best not to cry.


We will never forget all our talking

Of your voice, we each hear the sound

And how happy you were then to see us

When each of us finally came ‘round.


Your worries, our road to salvation

And for knowing our Savior we thank you

But with Him we know we’ll have guidance

Through this, that we know we must do.


We know you will always be with us

Freddy, Danny, Jim, Jenny and me.

No proof of this needs to be shown us

For we know right where you will be.


Mom, our hearts right now are in question

As we ponder our life’s loss of you

And the steps taken in our tomorrows

Make us feel like we’ve not got a clue.


We hope that you will always watch over us

And with Jesus be our guiding light

Giving us strength when we need it

To help us in this endless fight.


Our guardian angel you are, Mom

Sitting on each of our shoulders

Whispering to us your wisdom

Guiding us as we get older.


We don’t want to say our goodbyes yet

Though we know you will meet us one day

And we’ll pick up right there where we left off

Before you went with Jesus that day.


~ Sean Sakach and Pamela K. Pfertsh

© October 8, 2013

Read Full Post »

Rosemary’s Poem

This poem was written for a friend of mine who barely survived an accident with a drunk driver.  It was presented to her on Easter Sunday, April the 8th, which was the 5th anniversary of the new life she was given.  It will be read at a M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) event in Denver at the end of April, 2012.


I was only driving into work

To take care of my kids

When you made a choice to take from me

Nearly all I had to give.


Not only were you very drunk

But should not be here at all

An illegal man from Mexico

Put behind our prison walls.


You tore my body almost in half

My ribs were in my lungs

My left arm and shoulder were torn away

My right leg and foot just hung.


They pronounced me dead at 3:04 am

On Sunday, April the eight

And told my friends to bring my kids

For they feared it was too late.


But then the Police Chief called to them

To tell them I had life

And to bring the kids down anyway

For I may not live past night.


My surgery ten hours long

Was only to sustain

Until the doctor could figure out

How to make me whole again.


Courtney cried and when her tears

Fell down onto my arm

They say that tears came from my eyes

Making death a false alarm.


That beautiful angel stayed by me

Refusing to take a break

She held my hand and talked to me

Saying I smiled, but would not wake.


Many could not come to me

For I was broken to the eye

They could not handle the way I looked

Without breaking down to cry.


Due to my state of comatose

They had to sell our home

The kids were staying with my friend Dave

To keep things close to norm.


My sleep it lasted two months long

Until my eyes would open

And because my name’s Hispanic nature

They assumed that’s what I’d spoken.


Interpreters and Spanish forms

Down my throat were thrust

Five languages I’d spoke before

It simply was unjust.


After twenty-eight long surgeries

And over thirty broken bones

Adding metal to my knees and hips

And my legs before they’re sown.


The doctor came to me in June

And said, “Because you’re paralyzed

We’re moving you to a nursing home,”

And I was mortified.


I begged him keep me a little more

To give me one more chance

He said I’d have to walk away

And cook if I had a chance.


I begged he pull these tubes from me

For how I breathed and I was fed

And the filter pulled from within my heart

For I watched it from the bed.


I had to learn to dress again

To speak and then to eat

For you traumatized my brain so much

That it nearly chose defeat.


I worked out in the gym as much

As they would take me there

For I had to get home to my kids

To lighten their despair.


My eyes had gone in different ways

And it caused me to see double

It would get my scrambled brain confused

And cause all kinds of trouble.


By July’s end I prepared a meal

For the staff upon my floor

To prove that I could feed myself,

My kids and many more.


And then to all of their surprise

With a walker I was driven

And walked myself right out the door

Into the new life I was given.


Dealing with brain injury

Is never an easy chore

For Brandon took it harder than most

Because of what we’d had before.


He’s tried so hard to talk with me

But the words no longer there

Some days it’s hard to even speak

And to him it is not fair.


One day he bought a book for me

“To the one my virtue instilled

The power of knowledge inside of me

Will come back if it is willed.”


“You are all that holds you back!”

Is what he wrote to me

Just as I had said to him

For all of eternity.


As Courtney would always say

The hardest part in getting through

Was when they’d say, “I understand,

I know what you’re going through.”


She knew they didn’t really know

Or even understand

Like when she’d say, “My mom can do it!”

Then they’d laugh and pat her hand.


Now the toughest job for me to do

Is providing for my kids

This highly educated college girl

Suddenly hit the skids.


The one thing drunks don’t realize

Is how much they affect

The lives of those connected to

The ones that they impact.


I pulled myself out of this grave

To come home to my kids

I’m here and not about to leave

Begging God forbid!


All I ask of those who drink

Is to be responsible

And to think of all that you can take

By acting such a fool.


~Pamela K. Pfertsh

April 8, 2012

©April 10, 2012

Read Full Post »

The Memories

The memories of the ones we love

Linger through the years

The thought of that one special card

Can bring me back to tears.

The blessings were so plenty

With kids and grandkids too

Each time blueberry pie is served

My thoughts turn back to you.

Remembering the harvest times

Which gave us beets and corn

Bring pleasures of the simple life

To which our hearts were sworn.

The more complicated life would get

The more ‘simple’ things were found

Football games could be enjoyed

From home without the crowd.

Laughter added years to life

With crazy birthday dreams

And sayings that would tease the “boys”

Dance through our memories.

But Mother had to call you home

So God could ease your pain

Twelve years it had been, to the day

Since she last whispered your name.

~Pamela K. Berkhiem

Read Full Post »


How I long for yesterday

And the times when we would play.

How I miss our nice long walks

And our quiet little talks.

We would sit upon those stairs

And you would ask me there,

“How big are you today?”

“This big!”  I would say.

My arms stretched open wide

My heart so full of pride.

I know that you must leave

It is not time to grieve.

Although I will be sad

My Grandma will be glad.

A long time she did wait

Just to meet you at those gates.

It’s time to say good-bye

A tear falls from my eye.

My arms stretched open wide

My heart so full of pride.

~Pamela K. Berkhiem

Read Full Post »

I was riding to the hospital because I was so ill

My daddy he was taking me, for that I love him still.

A drunken man ran into us and took my very life

And left my daddy lying there to deal with the strife.


I’m playing up in heaven now, for God, he took me in

My thoughts are always happy ones ‘cause here there is no sin.

I play up in the clouds all day with other girls and boys

And we all think the best part is, not cleaning up our toys.


I watch over my daddy and make sure he’s all right

I just wish he didn’t feel so sad or that he has to fight.

It’s better when he’s playing, outside in the sun

Or going for a nice long drive or simply having fun.


I like it when he goes places, exciting and so new

‘Cause then I get to see the world from a different view.

The wind it flies beneath my wings and carries me away

And I know that’s what will bring my daddy up to me someday.


~ Pamela K. Berkhiem


Read Full Post »